


Relapse

by vampireglub



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abusive Father, Additional Warnings Apply, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Ending, Broken Families, Child Abuse, Cutting, Depression, M/M, Neighbors, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Relapsing, Sad, Self-Harm, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-06
Updated: 2015-10-14
Packaged: 2018-02-07 13:30:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1900731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vampireglub/pseuds/vampireglub
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hell; that is the only possible way to describe Eren's life. His father's an alcoholic that likes to take his anger out on others such as Carla and Eren. To make matters worse, his mother is simply too forgiving when it comes to Grisha's abusive behaviors and therefore Eren is stuck with no way to escape. Family problems however are only a fraction of the diabolical equation. Eren's got no one at school to rely on; all the kid's ignore or bully him and the teachers are thoroughly fed up with his failing grades.</p><p>Then, out of no where, the family all of a sudden decides to move to the neighboring city; Maria Grove, in hopes of restarting their previously doomed lives. The three now live in a little yellow house, Eren now attends Sina High; the worst place for him to transfer to, and his whole life seems to be taking a long, dark trip down to the depths of Hell. </p><p>Will there by anyone to save the boy from the abusers around him?  </p><p>Will someone finally notices that Eren's a broken mess of self-hate, depression, suicidal thoughts, and self-mutilation?</p><p>Will anyone be there for the brunet before it's too late?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pilot/Introduction

The dim light cast by the moon of midnight glistened off my eternally stained, metallic friend. As both it and I lay in silence, my house is filled with the screams of a beautiful, young mother who has been bound to this torture by her brusque husband who had fallen victim to the addiction of alcohol. As my quivering hands stay pressed to my aching ears every night, the thick liquid streams down my arms from the brand new wounds that now cover up the scars of previous nights spent alone in my room.

 

As the sun finally begins to rise the sounds of my parents fighting subside; not all at once, but over an extended period of time. The second the voices die down to my mother's pained weeping and my father's intoxicated snores, my hands rip themselves from my numb ears. At first it takes me a moment to comprehend the severity of this situation, seeing as I had once again shut myself away from the pain that I feel both physically and mentally. Once my head was back on straight, I opened the door to my bedroom and peered out to see only the flashing light of the television making it's way into view. I quickly close my door, shutting myself away until I feel that I am able to speak to my now injured mother.

 

As I try my damnedest to settle down, I wrap a blanket around my bare shoulders. The friction of the material against my most recent flesh wounds causes a pained gasp to fall out from between my pale lips that have been torn open one time too many by my own clenched teeth. The gross gasp of discomfort quickly fades into the annoying silence of running electronics and my own soft inhales and exhales.

 

Before I can even shut my heavy eyelids, the alarm goes off in it's overly monotone manner. My numb fingers slowly hit the button to stop the continuous tone once my exhausted mind registers the symbolical sound. Despite my want and need to close my weary eyes and disconnect myself from the harsh reality, my legs lift me up, off the bed, and my fingers let the cloth slip down, caressing my thin frame, until it's back on my bed.

 

I place pants on my long legs, a shirt to embrace my chest, and a sweatshirt over my marred arms. Once my pale, thin frame is covered, I go to leave. My feet stop in their tracks as I catch the morning rays glistening brightly off my only friend; my one and only switchblade. I stare down at the metallic weapon that is encrusted in dry crimson when I hear the quick tapping of rushed footsteps. Automatically, my hand shoots forward, gripping the open tool in my palm as my bedroom door brusquely flies open. I grimace as the blade sinks into my hand at the audaciousness of the door connecting with the wall.

 

As my mother explains the escape plan I feel warm liquid run down my folded fingers, dripping onto the hardwood only after losing it's grip on my knuckles. The young woman in front of me is so hysterical that she doesn't seem to notice the pain hidden on my face or the continuous leak of my vital fluid behind my back.

 

Seconds later, she's running off to her room to gather her clothes and minimal belongings. As she does so I hastily pocket my only source of comfort, wiping up my hand and the splatters of red on the floor before doing the same as my green-eyed mother. I pack my few outfits and treasured items before my mom is dragging me out of the house that held both many good and bad memories for us all.

 **  
**The one who has raised me randomly pulls me into the vehicle of soft blue and she then quickly starts the engine, driving off to any place that may offer solace.

 

After falling asleep to the feeling of being in a safe vehicle and not having to go to school the next day, I was blessed with surprisingly good dreams for once in my hellish life. This slumber somehow brings forth a beautiful warmth in my chest and causes a rare, upward curve of my lips. My mother must have noticed my soft smile due to her commenting to herself on my uncommon expression.

"I haven't seen that smile in a while," she giggled softly, not caring if my state was still one of the unconscious or one of the awake and living. "I was truly beginning to worry," she let out a sigh of relief before continuing her rambling. After a while I quit the charades, noticing that our car had come to a long, final stop. My eyes flickered opened slowly, connecting with the old building with disgustingly rusty, metal steps, and ancient, graffiti-ed brick.

 

"Good morning, honey. Did you sleep well?" Her tone was soft and genuinely sincere as she gently brushed my overgrown bangs out of my eyes.

"I guess," I shrugged my heavy shoulders, staring at the rundown building.

At my words, my mother gave me a quick-to-fade, bruised and broken, smile. "He didn't get the chance to lay a hand on you, did he?" She asked, head tilted down, brown hair messily falling in front of her bruised face, hands tightly gripping the steering wheel.

Cold chills run down my back, forcing a shocked jump out of me at the question. At the mention of father's abuse my hands instinctively move to cover the already clothed bruises and wounds.

 **  
**"Oh....baby no! I-i'm so sorry! This is all my fault!" Tears filled her eyes as she pulled me into her bosom, her collarbone already turning shades of purple and yellow in front of my eyes.

 

As my mother cried into my hair, I let tears escape my foreign-painted eyes, head still against her chest. For once I wasn't judged for letting the tears caress my cheeks and fall from my chin. Due to finally gaining some comfort, we both held each other tightly as we wept away the pain that had accumulated over the malevolent years.

Rain clouds filled the darkening sky as we finally headed out of the vehicle. Before we grabbed our luggage my mother decided to get the key from the landlady. I waited by our 1992 Buick while my mother spoke to the woman about the possible two-room apartment.

When the young brunette came sulking back to the vehicle, I immediately knew to plan for the worst.

"M-mother?" My voice help a saccharine tone.

 

"Get back in the vehicle before it rains," she sighed, voice broken. "We'll have to find another complex before the storm hits." Carla moved past me, opening the driver's side door and shutting herself in the warmth of the enclosed vehicle. I quickly follow, pulling myself into the passenger seat. We searched for an open apartment room that we could afford, but came up empty handed; most too expensive, others just unsuitable for a young mother and her 16-year old son. After failing multiple times, we were bound in a parking lot by the insanely heavy rain. As liquid poured forth from the grey skies, the lightning flashed, thunder roared, and floods formed. The two of us swiftly fell asleep to the incessant pitter-patter of the monstrous raindrops against the practically ancient vehicle.

 **  
**A new day is usually what one would consider a new beginning, a restart if you may, however my mother and I couldn’t simply redo things because we were eternally stuck in an endless downward spiral that was eternally irreversible. Not only did we fail to find an apartment and end up sleeping in a seemingly prehistoric car while we barely made it through a flash flood, but now we were slinking back to the drunken abusive man that dares to call himself my father. Damn did life hate me right now.

 

Our Buick rolled up to the front of our decent sized, tan brick house. Mother and I hesitantly sauntered out, regretting our loss of locating a liveable housing unit. I quietly unlocked the front door, slowly pushing it open to reveal a clean living space, some bottles located sporadically throughout the room. I gathered my strength and tip-toed in, finding my father at the end of our simple kitchen table, fingers intertwined, knuckles white from a firm grip, and grief filling the confines of his face.

My mother gently patted my shoulder before moving past me towards my teary-eyed, dick-of-a-father. I quickly shot my dominant hand out towards the soft-hearted brunette but my father’s eyes were on her before I had the chance to save her from the oncoming hell of devious lies and false pleas of forgiveness.

 **  
**“Oh, Carla!” My father jumped up from his wooden chair, wrapping his arms around my mother. I felt my knuckles clench tightly in anger. If the long-haired, glasses-wearing abuser turned against my kind mother, my fists would fly without hesitation.

 

“Grisha, you realize the pain you have dealt upon us, correct?” Her voice was sincerely soft as she stood stiffly wrapped in the man’s arms.

“I-i don’t know what’s happened to me! Work became stressful after the patient didn’t make it and then I began to rely on alcohol to take the pain of my self-incrimination away.” He now held my mother away, arms gripping her petite shoulders. “Please forgive me Carla! I truly am repenting for the sin of laying a hand on my wife; not once, but on multiple occasions!” He spoke, wiping tears from his eyelids that hid behind his old-fashioned glasses.

“Grisha, you better not be lying or I will leave with our son even if we’re forced to take all the money and run.” She spoke, clearly deceived by his false apologies.

“I have no reason to lie to the one that I truly love!” His fingers were now roughly grasping his stained button-up just above where the human heart is embedded into the body. My caribbean eyes could see through his words and I knew just how damned my life truly was.

To show that my father was serious about the end of his alcohol addiction and abuse, he had us all move to a house, claiming the transfer to be our ‘New Beginning’. We chose a simple, three bedroom house in the neighboring city of Maria Grove. I would now be attending their famous school, Sina High, as a junior. To make matters worse for me, Sina was a very stuck up school due to their genius academic scores, unstoppable athletic records, and generous benefactors. Despite the rich community, we managed to buy our little yellow house in a quiet, middle class chunk, just near the outskirts of Maria Grove. Hopefully my life wasn’t totally ruined by my father’s so-called ‘Change of Heart’.

 ****  
  



	2. When Once Becomes Twice and Twice Becomes Thrice... (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT MESSAGE: Levi's P.O.V.
> 
> This chapter gives us a few hints as to how Levi is currently living. There are a couple of points made on how he used to live but there is more to come!
> 
>  
> 
> Chapter Three Info:  
> > When Once Becomes Twice and Twice Becomes Thrice... (Part 2)  
> > Levi's P.O.V.  
> > More hints on Levi's current and past life  
> > First meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and welcome to chapter two of 'Relapse'! 
> 
> This new chapter is in Levi's point of view and may end up being generally long and boring. I simply want to portray Levi's day to day life as quick as possible so we can later compare his past and future. Second of all, this is only part one of 'When Once Becomes Twice and Twice Becomes Thrice' due to the length and plethora of dull explanations (of Levi's life). Lastly, I hope you enjoy and read the End Note as well! 
> 
> Thanks!

Levi's P.O.V

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ - Indicate Time Skip

* * *

 

 

**Chapter 2:**

**When Once Becomes Twice, and Twice Becomes Thrice**

 

Days seem to simply go by. The pains of yesterday forgotten by the somewhat brighter, new days. Sure my past isn’t something to be proud or happy of but I’ve taken the high road into a better way of living. I mean seriously, look where I am now! I own a three bedroom house on the outskirts of a fairly rich city and I’m the captain of my own chosen crew at Trost; a company that designs and sells catalogues on our fellow business’s materials.

The job doesn’t sound like a lot but it’s always a bitch to meet deadlines when you’re whole crew specializes at one certain part of the process and can simply throw everyone off if they don’t do their job right. So, as my team is separated by photographer, writer, editor, and computer designer, I am the only one capable of doing all four jobs efficiently. So, I help out wherever I can before sharing the final copy and sending it to the printers. Sometimes after especially hard weeks my group and I grab a quick drink or I go home, sit on my porch, and enjoy a good cigarette.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

“Two rejects in one fucking week,” I click my tongue in irritation as my teammates practically collapse from exhaustion before my eyes. “Everyone rest up this weekend and be ready for yet another busy start on Monday,” I finish our meeting up with words of care for my somewhat annoying co-workers.

Once every member is safely on their ways home, I stop in by my Boss, the C.E.O. of Trost; Erwin Smith. We have a brief meeting about the final product before I’m released to go home for the weekend. I give the other’s on the floor a wave goodbye as I head into the neat elevator. I grip the needed documents in my right hand as the elevator opens to a dimly lit parking garage where I and many others leave their cars.

I take the 1969 black Corvette for a ride through the town until the sleek car pulls into a familiar driveway that sits on a quiet little street known as Rose Boulevard. My body, as if by memory, moves by itself, carrying me into the neat blue-ish house. Dropping the materials, I kick my shoes off and go to change into some decent casual wear.

Once my body is cloaked in a more comfortable manner, I slide my outdoor slippers on and take a seat on my simple wooden porch. As I light my first cigarette of the day, my silver eyes catch the beautiful oranges and purples of the evening sky. I take a few long, soothing drags, my peace suddenly interrupted by the sound of bickering and the sight of a moving truck.

My body turns away from the view of the lover’s quarrel as my  mind practically dares me to sit and watch as the couple yell openly at each other. The dark side wins and I can’t help but watch the two out of the corner of my eye as I listen in to the heated conversation just a mere 4 houses down.

“It was your idea to move here and now you’re upset that you have to help us carry the furniture in! Grisha, what the hell is wrong with you!” The seemingly young spitfire yells at the older looking male.

“Carla, I’m the man of the house and I make the rules!” He aggressively pointed towards himself to show emphasis. “If I pay for the house then it’s your job to earn your keep!”

“What!” She retorts loudly, voice traveling a ways. “I’m not some slave, Grisha! I’m your wife!” Her words startle me slightly seeing as she looks a good ten years younger than the other.

“Then get your worthless son to help,” he rolls his eyes, hands being thrown up in increasing anger.

“Eren shouldn’t have to work so hard! He’s got enough on his plate right now seeing as he’ll be starting school with a body full of bruises thanks to someone,” she clearly hints at the last part causing the other to snap.

At the continued mention of their child, I expect to see an elementary school brat run out seeing as the mother looked to be only a few years older than me, if even that. To my utmost surprise, a teen runs out to break up the battle.

At this point, many thoughts are running at the sight of this peculiar, three person family. It was obviously clear that ‘Grisha’ was the father and ‘Eren’ was the son but…. was ‘Carla’ truly the boy’s mother? During the dispute I remember clearly hearing the word ‘wife’ out of the woman with a messy ponytail that lays her hair over one of her petite shoulders. Was ‘Carla’ perhaps the stepmother? No, the boy looked too much like her to be from another’s womb. I shake my head in confusion, flicking the worthless cigarette butt to the ground before stepping on it and heading back inside to clear my mind.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

Only two days later and I was receiving a gentle set of knocks on my door. I stopped, mid-cleaning, to welcome the uninvited guests.

“Hello, my name is Carla Yeager and this is my son, Eren. We’ve recently moved into the yellow house just down the street,” she kindly greeted, raising from her bow. I gave her a simple nod before my eyes found the other standing behind her.

My breath slightly hitched as my silver orbs landed on the other’s face. His eyes could only be described as the color ‘Strong Titan Green’. The irises were a gentle mix of blues and greens that practically pulled you into them. As my whole being felt as if it was being absorbed into those enticing eyes, Carla spoke words that went unregistered.

After a few more seconds of swimming in the pools of Eren’s teal orbs, my eyes were moved to the dessert that the young woman presented to me with a warm smile. I gave my thanks before my metallic eyes once again moved to Eren. His rough, stone-washed jeans, and baggy sweatshirt didn’t come close to matching his mother’s neat yellow button up with brown shorts.

“I welcome you to the neighborhood,” I replied, extending a hand to take the gift. “My name is Levi. It’s a pleasure to meet you both.” Carla and I shared a firm handshake, Eren staying behind with a bored, lost expression on his face that most likely mirrored my own emotionless face.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you as well Mr. Levi,” the young woman smiled. “Oh, before I forget, that’s some homemade raspberry pie.” My eyes glanced down to the warm dish in my hands.

“Well, to show my thanks, would you two care for some tea?” As much as I disliked to invite people into my clean house, I couldn’t help but want to learn more about the peculiar family.

Before answering, Carla sent a questioning glance to the teen. Eren gave a simple shrug and so she accepted the offer. “We’d love that! It’s a good chance for us to get to know some of our neighbors.” They followed in behind me, taking their shoes off quickly before exiting the entry way.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

Carla and I had held a decent conversation for a good hour. She had now discovered a lot about me, but I had also obtained a fair amount of information on her own life and family. Many of my questions had been answered therefore I gave the time to reply to any of her inquiries. I had now learned that Eren was currently sixteen going on seventeen in a few months. Carla herself had just recently celebrated her thirty-second birthday. Once the ages came out, I openly asked the young woman about her family. The brunette was surprisingly open about her teen pregnancy however she did clearly avoid the subject of her thirty-nine year old husband; Grisha.

During our time spent drinking a rich Rose Jam Tea, Eren remained a closed off mute. To my astonishment, Carla had quite the interesting life; she moved from Germany to America at the age of eleven, got pregnant at fifteen, raised a little boy by herself, and completed her education. She happened to be quite the inspiration, my story now seemingly dull in comparison to hers. It wasn’t a surprise to see that my fake life story was boring considering the fact that I made it all up in a matter of minutes.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

 

I spent a fairly good night staring at the ceiling, letting my imagination run wild. As one painful memory lead to another, the bright light of the sun began to childishly peek over the massive mountains. To my dismay, my weekend was quickly coming to an end.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

Two seemingly uneventful weeks went by and my life was as conventional as ever. The only major differences in my simple life were the disturbingly unsanitary bottles that lay scattered in the Yeager’s yard and the annoying bursts of yelling at awkward hours of the morning (despite the fact that I usually don’t sleep). My first initial thought was that Eren was simply a druggie who had rowdy friends over sometimes. I also figured that his parents might’ve been too busy with work to clean up their yard and take care of their child.

My thoughts however changed slightly when I found out that Carla was a stay-at-home mom who held many bruises on her young, tan skin.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

“Oh my gosh!” Petra whined, “they want us to do it again?” Everyone in the crew freaked out when our plan had been rejected for the third time this week.

“Change the backgrounds on pages two, three, six, and ten; they look like shit. Oluo, fix your fucking descriptions on the rustic kitchen set and the child’s desk-bed. Gunther, check the frickin’ pieces once Oluo’s done with that crap. If we can pull through and get this shit done today we may actually get to go home while it’s still fucking Friday!” I explained the plan and they all got set on the tasks at hand.

Four hours were over in the blink of an eye and we somehow managed to complete the final copy earlier than expected. What usually takes us a good six hours to fix was completed in only what seemed to be a few short moments.

 

“They accepted the final product so we may all head home, take a shit, and get to bed early for once,” I informed the team from behind the completed project. A huge wave of relieved sighs washed over our conference room as everyone sunk into their cushioned chairs. “Have a fucking wonderful weekend and be ready for the shitty rush on Monday,” the debriefing concluded and we all headed our own ways. My path first led me to Erwin’s office just over two hours earlier than usual.

“Levi, what do I owe the honor of you visiting me this early in the evening?” He spoke, reading over multiple packets of paper.

“We completed the fucking project,” I threw the catalogue on his desk, the sound causing him to look over at the piece of work. His sky blue eyes then met mine.

“Your team is our elite group that produces the best material however I do openly admit that I’m surprised to see a finished product on my desk before six o’clock.”

“Yeah, whatever, just look at it so I can go home and enjoy a fun-fucking-tastic weekend.”

“You’re as blunt as ever,” he scoffed.

“Whatever Captain frickin’ America. Now, will you please look at the shitty piece of junk?”

 

“Yeah, I guess I could since you were kind enough to say please,” he smirked, my eyes naturally rolling.

I spent a good ten minutes in complete silence as he read through and took in all the details of the project. After a few moments, I began to tap my fingers out of habit. My neatly trimmed nails clicking against the wood of the chair’s arm caught his attention.

“Alright, looks good.” He smiled as he ran a hand through his slicked back bangs.

“That’s it?” I raised a curious eyebrow at his brief conclusion.

“Well, it’s been completed nicely. I have no real complaints on this catalogue’s look so either you can stay and wait until you get bored or you can escape before Hanji gets here with my dinner.”

“Yeah, I really don’t feel like dealing with-” A foot connected with the door and in barged the brunette with a single plate of food in one hand.

“Ewin!~ I brought you’re-...” Brown orbs connected with black silky hair and gray, stormy eyes. “OH MY GOD, LEVI!” She squealed, throwing the plate up in pure excitement.

My eyebrow twitched in annoyance as her arms wrapped around me in a tight embrace. “Shitty glasses, you better let go in the next five seconds or I’m going to kick your fucking filthy ass all the way into the next state!”

“Oh Levi,” she twirled around with her arms still keeping me in a disturbingly dirty hell. “I’ve missed you so much!” She ruffled my clean and neat hair. “Ever since Erwin moved you from being his apprentice, I haven’t gotten to see you much!” The room then oddly fell silent, her fingers snaking their way to my arms. She held my shoulders tightly enough to leave brownish yellow bruises.

“Oi, what’s your problem all of a sudden, shitty glass-” my voice caught in my suddenly dry throat as I noticed her bi-polar expression change. Brown eyes no longer blown open wide but in a deep, serious glare. I quickly shifted my eyes to Erwin, his face also pensive.

“Levi,” her voice called me back, my attention once again on her. “Has everything been going okay?” Her brown eyes were taking in every detail of my face and body.

“If you mean what I think you do, then yes, everything is fine. If you don’t believe me then check,” I spoke, my gaze unwavering. Her hands moved down from my buffed arms until they reached the pronounced bump of my wrists. She wrapped her long, dirty fingers around the cuff of my button-up as she looked over to Erwin. Captain America gave Shitty Glasses a nod and then the woman was suddenly up in my face again.

“Get the fuck outta my face sh-

“Levi,” she interrupted my usual name calling, “it’s not that we don’t trust you but it’s better to be safe than sorry, right?” Tears had filled her insane eyes for some reason. Her body trembling with both guilt and curiosity. I rolled my eyes at her over-dramatic manner as she unlatched the little black buttons on each of my sleeves. She suspensefully rolled the large arms of my shirt up until both my inner elbows were bare. My porcelain flesh held no marks, wounds, or bruises and Hanji let out quite the audacious sigh of relief. Her hands were finally released from my body as she gave Erwin a reassuring nod.

“I’ve already told you guys that I haven’t touched any of that shit once I started this fucking shitty ass job.” I unrolled my paper white sleeves, rebuttoning the cuffs.

“It hasn’t even been a full year yet, Levi. We just want to make sure that you don’t relapse again.” Erwin spoke, his large hand gripping my shoulder gently. Disliking his dirty fingers on me, I slapped his palm away.

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” My eyes did yet another antagonized lap as I applied pressure to the aching bridge of my nose. “I’m doing fine without you two worrying and nagging like mothers,” my orbs moved from Hanji to Erwin.

 

“Well, I’m sorry if I care about you too much Levi but we just don’t want to find you in some dark alleyway beaten up and high as a kite again.” Erwin’s orbs held a level of authority.

“Seriously, shut the fuck up.”I truly didn’t feel the need to talk about my shitty drug addiction at work of all places.

“Levi, you were so high that you didn’t even know that you were bleeding out! You just sat there talking about some dead guy as your stab wound was practically gushing blood everywhere!” Hanji spoke, her usual tone as loud and vexatious as always.

“Whatever,” I turned my back to the worrywart duo, “I’m heading home.” I wanted to get off the tough subject as soon as humanly possible and the only way to do that, was to get out of Hanji’s field of vision.

“Levi, you have to stop running from your past!” The young woman tried stopping me. Truthfully, her words caused my hands to clam up into tight fists, knuckles quickly turning white. Neither Werin or Hanji new everything of my rotten past and I wasn’t going to sit down and tell them anytime soon either.

“Goodbye shitty glasses.” I made my way to the door, turning back to make proper eye contact with the handsome blond. “Have a fucking wonderful night, Eyebrows.” I then took my leave after saying my evening farewells.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

Supper was a success, the dishes were now clean, and it was my time to destress. I grabbed the white, plastic wrapped box and moved out to my front porch. I sat down on the top step, feet planted on another. The carton now lay in both my hands my thumbs running over the embossed text. A heavy sigh slips from my dry lips as I realize just how weak I really am; using cigarettes as a legal replacement for the old heroin and cocain that I used to intake.

 

My substitute realization caused unneeded thoughts and anger. I messily tear the plastic off, break open the package, and trash the foil. Twenty white and orange sticks sat neatly in the carton, filter-side up. A puff of air travels out my nostrils as two of my fingers gently pinch the first cigarette  in the box, pulling it out carefully. Once the one white and orange cancer stick was free of it’s previous confines, I moved it so it sat comfortably in my small hands. Like some, I held the cigarette between my pointer and middle finger. I part my cracked lips, placing the toxic object part way into my mouth. I then rest my muscles, the cigarette hanging off my parched lips at an angle. My free hand rummages through my generally empty front pockets, soon finding a cheap lighter. I brought both of my pale hands up, quickly lighting the cigarette. I began with generally small intakes, moving on to long drags only shortly after. Every few inhales of the tainted toxic oxygen, I would flick my wrist carefully to knock off any access ashes. My actions continued through three of the white and orange cancer sticks.

As I unconsciously went to grab and light yet another, my seemingly repetitive actions were stopped by loud, thunderous yells that couldn’t quite be understood by someone sitting outside.

As my fingers tightly gripped the white package, eyes staring down the street, the random audacious sounds continued. It wasn’t entirely uncommon for families to fight but it was quite rare to be able to hear it from a few houses away. To no surprise, the sounds continued for a while, the sun now setting behind the far off mountains.

A few more minutes and I had completely lost interest in the current feud going on just down the road. I got up from my spot, stretching quickly to relieve the aching muscles that had developed over the last refreshing hour or two. Just as I was heading into my home, my stormy eyes caught the new neighbors’ white door flying open. To my astonishment, the voices of the family could be easily heard over the maddening silence of our little community.

“Grisha, let Eren go!” The first sentence clearly coming from Carla held weak sternness but great concern. Inexplicably, a reply of slurred curses and gibberish filled the empty streets.

My curiosity and general human worry drove me to move only a few steps closer. Just as I made it off my large white porch, my whole body tightened at the scene playing out in front of my eyes.

Hands gripping the young boy’s shirt tightly, Eren now outside on the small deck as his attacker remained hidden behind the stuck door. Next thing I knew, the kid was brutally pulled forward, a fist connecting with his cheek, the power behind the punch clear as Eren brusquely stumbled. Seeing as the brat was shoved back into a type of free fall, his footing was off, causing him to miss a step. He clearly landed roughly on the ground however he was quick to scatter to his feet and dodge an oncoming liquor bottle. The boy was hastily running away as Carla and the long-haired man yelled at one another. I was unsure if I should step in or not but decided against it seeing as my whole body was stiff as a board.

As I hesitated on the corner of my property, Eren flashed by. Our peculiarly unique eyes met for a mere millisecond during his brisk escape but it honestly felt like we were standing there for hours, frozen in time. So many emotions were trapped in his teal orbs that I felt like I was being crushed beneath the accumulated burden of them all. Despite my past, I was not able to register his rapid movements fast enough to stop him from running away the pain. My delay had been due to my mind trying to memorize his tear-stained face in just a brief moment of eye-to-eye contact. I was unable to save him from running head first into a bigger mess and it was all because I was too enticed by how revealing his foreign eyes truly were.

I stood there, still as a frickin’ rock. My body riddled with guilt knowing that I didn’t do anything at all even after seeing Eren’s pained expression. The boy had had tears caressing his sun-kissed skin, blood dripping from his nose, a cut up lip, and a terrified look that was practically begging someone, anyone, to save him.

I had clearly missed a huge opportunity to better someone’s life; something others usually had to do with me due to my sketchy past. I had guiltily let someone go and suffer on their own, personally knowing just how lonely and miserable it is to grieve in silence. My ambivalence could lead to this kid getting seriously fucked up; he could be kidnapped, raped, killed, or even forced to do drugs. I had practically let a shitty brat go and take a chance at ruining his life. I could have easily grabbed him and helped him but I had simply left him to his own devices; something that could prove to be fatal if he makes any choices resembling the ones that I had made when I was about his age.

 **  
**The thoughts and guilt struck a cavernous nerve within me. ‘This fucking shitty brat could turn up dead and it could have been stopped by the simple act of offering up a safe haven to escape to.' My mistake may very well have just created a fucked up monster modernly parallel to the ‘Rivaille’ that roamed the streets only months ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there again everyone! I've got a few things to say and ask before you can get on with your beautiful lives!
> 
> 1.) I'd like to thank my friends and beta readers; Oreogirl, not harley, and Jason Sixx for helping me to edit this long chapter!
> 
> 2.) I'd like to ask how you, my readers, feel about monthly updates (30-35 days)? Is it too long of a wait?
> 
> 3.) If you have any songs that fit to the story so far, please do share them with me so I can add them to my song list!
> 
> 4.) Do you have any ideas, comments, questions, edits, or critiques for Relapse? If you do, feel free to comment bellow or contact me at one of the following links:
> 
> E-Mail: vampireglub@gmail.com
> 
> Tumblr (Main): vampireglub.tumblr.com  
> Tumblr (Fanfics): vampireglubfanfics.tumblr.com  
> Tumblr (Stories): vampireglubs-stories.tumblr.com
> 
> DeviantArt: shadowluver95.deviantart.com
> 
> Facebook: facebook.com/dante.alexander.927
> 
> Fanfiction: fanfiction.net/u/4141389/Dante-Luke-Alexander


	3. When Once Becomes Twice and Twice Becomes Thrice... (Part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Levi's P.O.V. and unbeta'd! I decided 'Screw my beta readers, I'll edit the chapter later'! I'm giving you the complete, just typed up version of my chapter so....BE READY FOR CRAP!
> 
> Chapter 3.5: Extra Due to Late Update  
> > Eren's P.O.V.  
> > Eren's Past - Just a touch  
> > Reason's for Depression and Self-harm/Suicidal Thoughts
> 
> Chapter 4: Don't Get Your Hopes Up  
> > Eren's P.O.V.  
> > Begins with Eren and Levi  
> > Most will be about Eren's first week or so of attending Sina High School
> 
> Lastly, we now have an official tumblr page as of today! Check out fic-relapse.tumblr.com !

The light of day awoke my numb body from it’s thoroughly confused stupor. My stormy eyes searched the plain rom for anything familiar. The dark leather furniture made it easy to recognize where I was and how I got there.

After witnessing the new neighbor boy, Eren, running away from home, I had entered my home, the heavy guilt weight on me already, I knew I had screwed up but instead of perhaps righting my wrong I just went inside and sulked. If my actions weren’t going to come back and bite me in the ass then I’m sure my thoughts were already making up for my mistakes. I had spent all night going back over some of my roughest moments; escaping my adoptive father’s house, trying my first snort of cocaine, and so much more. Every thing that came to me afterwards were things that I simply wish I could forget.

If the reminiscing wasn’t painful enough for me then the fact that I didn’t get even a single wink of sleep was. Truthfully, my body begged and pleaded for rest but everytime I try, I find myself awake; the fear of my past catching up with me both in dream or reality being the main reason. If I’m correct, today marked the sixth night in which I couldn’t fall or stay asleep. Therefore, in the last week, my total number of hours spent asleep are anywhere between 10 and 12 hours which just so happens to be four times less than the needed eight hours every night. If everything wasn’t hard enough already, I’ve got a terrible case of OCD that only makes sleeping even harder because I’m constantly worrying about things being clean and organized.

Seeing as I don’t get a lot of sleep, mornings are a struggle. Hell, mornings have always been a struggle but I’ve somehow managed to get my mind and body into a routine that works for me. So, despite passing out on my couch, I slowly get up from the developed warmth before going into my kitchen and starting the coffee machine. While my version of an energy drink is brewing, I leave for the shower. Despite my dislike for germs, I spend only a few moments underneath the cleansing heat of the water. Once out I dress for the day and then grab the hot drink to wake me up from my seemingly endless fatigue.

Due to it being the weekend, I decide to tidy the house. After the main work is done, I finally open my blinds, my seemingly spotless home now visible to other passerbyes. The dusting, sweeping, and washing continue until I find that every nook and cranny has been erased of any visible imperfection.

Just as noon rolls around, I place myself in front of my expensive, curved television. As I sit and relax after yet another good, home cooked meal and cleaning session, I catch something out of the corner of my eyes.

Here Eren is, sulking back home after a night of absence. He looks generally okay, clearly not drunk and staggering or high and hallucinating. My worries from last night subside, my body feeling suddenly lighter. Seeing as he's returning home as if nothing happened while he was gone, I figure that the fight wasn’t anything too serious.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

Three days later and everything is as normal as ever…..except for the fucking dark clothed bitch running out in front of my frickin’ car and almost wrecking the hood of my vehicle! I almost ruined my car and ran over some shit-for-brains kid! I immediately began cursing at the fucker, soon giving up and just deciding to go home before the dick comes at me and my car with some punk-ass weapon.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

Everything was beginning to become weird as I began to see a running boy in loose jeans and a baggy sweatshirt almost every other evening. Hoping that these sighting weren’t a sign of my past catching up to me, I chalked it up to being a complete coincidence.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

Three weeks and this whole fukcing thing was getting fishy as hell. Who repetitively finds some dark, covered up dipshit running around at odd times of the night? Either this person’s a gan brat or just some filthy street rat. On my available, upcoming weekend, I decided to check it out.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

“Don’t you think you’re just being paranoid?” Hanji laughed, clapping me roughly on the shoulder.

“She’s right, Levi. It’s probably just some kid sneaking to his girlfriend’s house every now and then.” Erwin clearly was on Shitty Glasses’s side.

 

“Still, what if it is someone I used to know? What if they are from my days back on the streets?” Hanji then began to poke at me, singing the word ‘paranoid’ into my ear multiple times.

“You know what, screw the both of you! I hope some asshole beats the living shit out of you two!” I spoke brusquely, the seriousness of the conversation clearly not being reciprocated.

 

Just as I left, Erwin replied with a simple, “be safe.” Frickin’ Captain America tried to make amends! His attempt was however futile at the current moment as I walked through the empty parking garage. At every single sound or shadow, I checked my surroundings. Once finally in my car, I realized that they were probably right; ‘no one’s after me.’

 

My drive home was an interesting one, my attention on any sound or movement around me. As I reached the neighboring street just to the right of my own, I let out a heavy sigh of relief, realizing that I wasn’t going to see some (possibly dangerous) prick. As I released a heavy breath, my fatigued eyes closed for a mere moment. The next thing I knew, a kid pops in front of my vehicle AGAIN! My foot hits the break, both of us clearly weren’t paying as much attention as we could have. Due to the close call our bodies are clearly tense, both our eyes wide.

 

After almost a minute of trying to catch our breaths, we recognize each other. I personally notice the beautiful teal eyes filled with tears first. The color clearly only adorning one brat’s irises; Eren Yeager’s.

 

As he notices that I obviously know who he is -despite the bloody nose and overflowing tears- he mad dashes it down the opposite street in which I was heading. A single cuss slips my lips and I turn my vehicle into the next lane, my blinker changing. I go to follow the kid, rounding the corner.

Personally, I’m not quite sure of what my thoughts on this current situation are but all I do know is that I’m gonna track this kid down and find out why he’s running around way past curfew all the damn time.

Using my vehicle, I quickly catch up to the running brat. If I could, I’d simply roll the passenger window down and try to get him to stop but seeing as my car is from 1969, you literally have to ‘roll’ the window down. I would’ve used the lever to crank the glass open but it was a dangerous thing to do while driving at night and I truly wasn’t going to risk crashing my sleek, black, collector’s Corvette.

Seeing as I wasn’t going to take any chances with my only mode of transportation, I was going to use the car’s horn. Just as my hand was going to alert the kid via sound, I realized that it was too late to use the horn and wake everyone up like a huge jackass.

Noting that my options were very limited, I tried cutting him off and following him. Sadly, I lost him when he cut down a special sidewalk that vehicles couldn’t access for another 3 blocks. I tried to get to the end of the walking trail but I was stopped by two lights and clearly missed him. After tailing him this far, I decided to head back home; my efforts nothing but a lost cause.

There, I sat on the front porch, cigarette visible in the darkness that the night provided. As I relaxed, staring at the fluttering orange-ish ashes that fell from the lit butt, thoughts were running through my head. I had so many questions that seemed to always bring me back to the image of Eren’s sullen look, tear-filled eyes, and bloodied nose. Perhaps he was in a fight, got beat up, and was running from the jerks? Maybe that’s why he ran from me! For all one knows, he took me for one of the dicks he got into a scuffle with.

After finishing two cigarettes off, I entered my house for yet another sleep deprived night.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

As the sun began to taunt me by coming through any small gap in my blinds, I got up from my bed to live through yet another tiring day. Cleaning and getting ready were my first priorities as always. Once the two main tasks were done, I moved on to other things such as fixing items and then cleaning up the outdoors. Just as I was about to head outside to pick the disgusting weeds infecting my front garden, the supposedly helpful song, ‘Better than Drugs’ by Skillet, (that Shitty Glasses set as my ringtone) echoed through my generally empty house. I picked it up with a simple questioned greeting, “hello?”

“Levi?” Erwin’s voice hit my ears. “Hey, umm...Hanji and I apologize for our behavior yesterday evening. If you’re worried about something we should believe you and help in any way possible before something truly does happen.” He spoke with an honest and apologetic tone.

I clicked my tongue, “whatever. I’m already over it.”

“I’m glad to hear that but I still feel horrible for-”

“I know who the runner is,” I interrupted his rambling.

“-I mean…” there was a slight pause, “wait, what?”

“I already figured out who the fuck has been running around at night like some shitty fugitive.” I explained.

“Really? Who is it? Is it someone dangerous? You can always stay with me and I’m sure that-” Irritation was evident in my voice, “It’s just some stupid ass kid from down the block!”

“Oh, that’s good. So, do you know why he’s sneaking out? Was I right about the girlfriend theory?” The blond was clearly hooked.

“I’m not quite sure. So far, from what I know, he’s a case of fucking bad news. There’s been filthy beer bottled on their shitty lawn and lots of yelling in both early morning and late evening. I’m guessing the prick’s quite the rebel; a two-sizes-too-big thug sweatshirt, long jeans, and all the drinks he could want in his hand. Hell, I found him fucking crying with quite the bloody nose; possibly even broken! I’m guessing he lost quite the fight yesterday and decided to run before even more shit hit the fan.” Erwin was diligently listening, making short noises to show his understanding.

“Wow, sounds like quite the problem child. How are the parents?”

“Well, Carla, the mother, is quite the woman. I guess she grew up in Germany, came to this shitty country, got pregnant, raised a child all throughout high school, and now lives here in fucking Maria Grove.” I explained trying to speak kindly seeing as she was a respectable woman.

“She’s quite the woman! It’s horrid knowing that her son is acting up in such a way. Is the father perhaps missing?” Erwin was definitely thinking about this.

“There is a male figure however he may not be per say the father figure. Also, the man looks quite a bit older than Carla but it may just be his ancient style; long hair and small circular bifocals.” Erwin took a moment to ponder.

“Well, the idea you have sounds probable but there could be many things going on behind closed doors.” As he spoke, I went to sit on my leather living room sofa. As I did so, the brightness of the afternoon sun caught my eye. “The kid may be bullied for all we know. Or perhaps it’s even worse! Maybe he is-” In the middle of Erwin’s sentence my pupils landed on the dark clothing.

“I’ve gotta go!” I hung up without another word as Erwin was in mid sentence. I quickly threw my Iphone on the cushioned couch. My agile feet led me out the door in no time, Eren spotting me and tightening up. I moved closer and he began to panic, stepping back slightly. I went from a slow walk to an all out sprint in the blink of an eye, the brat trying to run. My hand wrapped around the cuff of his zipped jacket.  One of the kid’s secrets was going to be revealed just by the simple action of taking a hold of him. As my fingers managed to have coiled around the sleeve of the baggy cover up, he let out a pained gasp and I felt it; dry, crusted blood just beneath the tips of my fingers that somehow managed to find their way under the over-sized sleeves and onto uneven, marred flesh. At the realization, I pulled my hand away, feeling a pang of shock and sadness rush through me like a raging hurricane. The boy simply took the moment to run. Knowing that I had to do something, I grabbed onto his billowing hood and dragged him into my house. He fought me tooth and nail however his voice never came out once; no begging or pleading of release.

Once inside, I moved him to my living room and told him to take a seat. He simply shook his head, face seeking freedom. “Brat, take a fucking seat before I plant you there myself.” He flinched as I rose my voice. I noted his behavior to know just what I was working with.

To give him a second to settle in, I went to grab us some tea. When I returned, he was seated at the farthest end of the sofa. “Would you care for some Earl Grey?” I waited a moment, getting no reply. I simply rolled my eyes, pouring some for myself and then some for Eren. To make it even clearer that I made a glass for him, I pushed it closer to him, his body tightening up once again.

“Kid, you don’t gotta act like I kidnapped you! I mean….yeah….this situation looks bad seeing as I dragged your ass into my shitty house but I almost ran you the fuck over yesterday! I think I clearly have my reasons for needing a damn talk.” I spoke bluntly, his foreign eyes locked onto my dull grey carpet. “Oi, I’m talking to you!” My hand shot towards him to lift his chin so we could speak with at least half way decent eye contact. With my sudden actions, he jumped and swatted my hand away in surprise.

“M-mr. Levi, please...don’t touch me,” he finally spoke however the volume of his words were just barely audible.

“Oh, so you can talk!” I scoffed. “What’s kept you from speaking until now? Got nothing interesting to say or are you just too shy to ever voice your thoughts? Or do you perhaps have some vocal issues or something?” I rudely snorted after the question only to be silenced by his words.

“Never said I didn’t…”

“Well, do you then?” I openly asked, my eyes giving him both a stern, bored look.

“N-no, I….I just don’t like people,” he explained quietly. “It’s better not to associate yourself with others unless you have to because….they’ll only hurt you in the end.”

“Hmmm,” I hummed, “then do you perhaps have a social anxiety?” The boy jumped at the idea, teal orbs now on me once again. He did however refrain from eye to eye contact, instead looking at my neck or chest rather than at my face.

“Y-yeah,” he looked once again to the floor, “I guess you could call it that.”

We continued speaking for a few minutes, his whispering continued as did the averting of his eyes. His actions were quick and skittish, clearly the signs of being both nervous and uncomfortable. Truthfully, he was going to be feeling even more uneasy in about two minutes.

“Eren,” I interrupted our random conversation, my strong voice startling him slightly. “I have a few questions that I want you to answer truthfully, okay?”

“Wh-what? I-i’m not-” his stuttering showing signs of weakness.

“Do you drink?” My question clearly hit him, his foreign eyes now wide and staring into my own.

“Wh-why would you-”

 

“Just answer please. I’m trying to be patient but I just simply want the answers.” He shied away, obviously frightened by my dominant tone.

“N-no, sir.” He replied no louder than a submissive squeak.

“Whose beer bottles are those on your front lawn?” I watched him carefully, his body trembling weakly. The boy mumbled something too quietly for me to hear. “Eren, who is drinking in your household?” I repeated, my tone stern as always.

“M-my dad, okay!” He answered, anger somehow apparent in his hushed voice. I ignored the boy’s gruffness, taking his words and making a mental note.

****  
  


“Who gave you the frickin’ bloody nose?” The boy immediately shook his head in silence. “Eren, no one is going to hurt you here so just tell me.” I received the same reply. “Are you being bullied? Did one of your parents do this as punishment? A tough ass girl reject you with a brusque punch?” He continued to shake his head. “Eren, give me something and I promise that I will help in any way that I possibly can!” Once again I was met with his visible denial to cooperate. “Come on! Give me something!” I barked rather loudly in annoyance.

“Drop it.” His response was short and to the point. His anger clenched fists and tear-stained face were what pushed me to truly just stop interrogating him.

“Eren, I’m just simply trying to help,” I reassured, calming my voice as much as humanly possible.

“I know that already but I clearly don’t want your help.”My brows furrowed slightly as his low-volumned voice denied me and my efforts.

“Okay, I know you don’t want help or feel that you need it but Eren, trust me, you do. Whatever is going on isn’t right and I can vouch for that! Beer bottles shouldn’t be on display in your front yard and you certainly shouldn’t be running out past curfew without some form of protection!”

“Shut up,” he raised his voice, wide eyes planted on the floor and sweat rolling down his forehead. Oddly, I was somewhat startled by his strong vocal outburst however I tried my best not to react and show any weakness. “Everything is fine! I don’t need any help!”

“Eren, you really do need help though!” I spoke, sadness evident in my usually smooth, velvety (somewhat stern) voice.

“You don’t und-”

 

“I do though!” My audacious interruption left teal eyes on me. “Eren, you need help whether you like it or not!”

“How would you even know!” He yelled, now standing up and towering ever-so-slightly over me and my short build. “You aren’t me and you definitely haven’t lived my life so how do you fricking understand!”

“Eren, I know about the scars!” His whole body tightened up, his mouth and eyes frozen open to show his obvious emotions; he was clearly frightened and flabbergasted.

“Y-you...what?” His lips connected and his eyes filled with abhorrent anger.

 **  
**“I-” The words that had slipped from my mouth only seconds ago clearly changed the atmosphere. The possibility of becoming a safe-haven was obviously dwindling now that I had made that point clear. Could I truly stop the fight that I saw coming or would Eren’s enraged comments strike first? Would I somehow manage to pull through or would I fail and regret my slip of the tongue? _‘Gosh….what the fuck am I going to do...’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there again everyone! I've got a few things to say and ask before you can get on with your beautiful lives!
> 
> 1.) If you have any songs that fit to the story so far, please do share them with me so I can add them to my song list!
> 
> 4.) Do you have any ideas, comments, questions, edits, or critiques for Relapse? If you do, feel free to comment bellow or contact me at one of the following links:
> 
> E-Mail: vampireglub@gmail.com
> 
> Tumblr (Main): vampireglub.tumblr.com  
> Tumblr (Fic: Relapse): fic-relapse.tumblr.com ((This is the official fic: Relapse page! Please put questions in my ask box and send me messages! I also would love to see some fic-relapse posts! XD ))  
> Tumblr (Stories): vampireglubs-stories.tumblr.com
> 
> DeviantArt: shadowluver95.deviantart.com
> 
> Facebook: facebook.com/dante.alexander.927
> 
> Fanfiction: fanfiction.net/u/4141389/Dante-Luke-Alexander
> 
> Twitter: https://twitter.com/vampireglub
> 
> Lastly, I will be recording my readings of this fic sooner or later! If you're interested in hearing them as soon as they come out then please do follow my Fic: Relapse tumblr page or even just simply ask me about it! Thanks guys!


	4. Don't Get Your Hopes Up (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning! This is unbeta'd! It probably really sucks but I felt that you guys deserved something since you've all been waiting for so long!
> 
> Levi confronts Eren on his self-harming problem.
> 
> Erent attends his first day at Sina High.
> 
> Eren's P.O.V.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there, readers!  
> I'm so sorry that it took me almost a full year to update this fanfiction. When I first started this fic it helped me to release my emotions without having to directly vent to anyone (something that I greatly dislike to do simply because I don't want to add any weight onto someone's shoulders). After some time, I hit a huge depressed rut and found life to be nothing but painful. I ended up having a few bad relapses of my own. My family found out soon after and immediately sent me to a therapist. Being so bad at venting my bottled emotions, it took quite some time for my defensive wall to fade. So, with that out in the open now, if you have any questions, comments, or requests, feel free to leave a comment below! Also, please, if you're still reading this fanfiction, let me know in the comments below! That, within itself, will give me the confidence that I need to continue this story!
> 
> Important: I would like all of you to also understand that this chapter is unbeta'd! My beta-readers have quit and I personally haven't taken the time to read over my piece! Sorry about this!
> 
> Thank you all so much!  
> _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Chapter 4:**

Don't Get Your Hopes Up

* * *

 

“You…” I spat with clear disgust. My brows furrowed and my teeth, tightly clenched.

“Wait! Before you go off on me, I want to say just a few things!” My fingers clasped around the hem of my sweatshirt as he begged me to listen to his vile words.

“I don’t care!” I turned on my heel and fled to the door in anger.

Only after releasing a heavy sigh, he spoke; “Eren, if you don’t accept my help then I will have to contact Carla and make sure you get the attention you fucking need!” His words caused me to pause, my full body’s weight planted on my leading foot.

‘How can this man continue to belittle me? My mother doesn’t deserve any more pain but no, this asshat, a mere stranger, would place that extra burden on my mother’s frail shoulders without a second thought.’ “You...y-you wouldn’t!” I could feel my uncontrollable rage spike as our eyes met.

“Eren, I don’t want to hurt you or your family in any way however I can’t just leave you like this,” he spoke with a fake calmness that I knew was hiding irritation. “You need help and if you won’t accept it from me then I must inform someone close to you before you seriously get hurt. I won’t just fucking stand by while you kill yourself!”

“How would you know that I need help? You sure as hell aren’t 'worthless Eren fucking Jäger' and clearly you don’t know the pain that I’m going through so you can shut the hell up and stop trying to be the fucking hero here!” I yelled back at him with full force, my head down, my fists tightly clenched in a death grip, and my whole body shaking beneath the heavy layers adorning my generally weak, thin frame.

“Eren,” he sighed again as he approached, a pallid hand nearing my trembling shoulder. Enraged, I brusquely swatted the hand away, causing him to take a step away from me; the feral child. “I’m not trying to be the fucking hero here...I just want to help,” he spoke as I turned on my heel. “Hey!” He tried to stop me from walking out. “I may not be you however I have had problems of my own and I know how it feels to be alone.” My eyes caught the shift in his stance. “Damn it all! I...I used to be like you,” he spoke with his steel gray eyes averted.

“So, you think you are ‘like’ me?” I turned to face him yet again, laughing at his words. “No one is like me!” I hollered. “Everyone has someone that cares for them and loves them accept for me! I always lose the friends I have and hurt those that get too close! How else am I supposed to atone for all the pain that I have dealt upon people? How else am I supposed to vent this monstrous rage? Tell me, how am I supposed to live with the fact that I am fucking worthless! My blade is my only friend that takes away my agony, my regret, my guilt...and if you want to take that away from me too then you can go shove all your fake sympathy up your ass because I don't want it!”

''Eren...''

''I've literally lost all of my friends and my family! They all up and left and it wasn't even my fault! I-it couldn’t have been my fault!" I was screaming and crying like an overtired child throwing a tantrum.

''Eren."

"God, and if losing everyone isn’t punishment enough, there's Grisha and every fucking asshole at school! No one cares about me! They all hate me!" I wiped the tears away quickly, not wanting to be seen as someone weak and vulnerable like I clearly was. "See, this is why I should just end this shit!"

"Eren!" He yelled at the top of his lungs, startling me greatly. "You may think you deserve this pain because others around you have suffered but that isn't even remotely true! I would know that because I used to think the same way!" He shoved up his long, black sleeves and brought the pale flesh to me, as if he were displaying something to me. I viewed the neat array of white marks on the skin of his wrists. I wanted to laugh at the few scars that were left behind from past mistakes however I couldn't bring myself to do so because I knew just how much pain someone had to go through to permanently mar their flesh.

"Wh-what do you think you're going to accomplish by showing me...th-these?" I inquire, my body beginning to tremble again for what felt like no apparent reason. I however knew that deep within, I felt sympathy for this man.

"I showed you my scars to hopefully get you to understand that I've gone through shit and that I really want to fucking help someone. That someone, in this case, is you. I want to help you from suffering like I once did." The emphasis he put on his words were startling however it shows his true determination to rescue someone from their own personal demons.

I stayed silent for a moment, thinking of his words. Without realizing it, I began to scoff unkindly. "You think you can help me? I'm so far gone that no one, not even the most divine God, could save me!" I glared, staring directly into his silver eyes. "Helping me would be nothing but a waste of your time." I spoke bluntly and with a crazed glint in my emerald eyes. "There are just simply too many things that are out of your control. One example being that I don't want your help; cutting brings relief and gives me control over at least one aspect of my life." Levi's eyes were wide at my outburst of anger; my social anxiety being overlooked by utter rage. He just simply stared at me as I huffed and puffed due to my exasperated rant.

After a long moment of silence, I turned on my heel and headed for the front door. To little surprise, he called out for me; "Eren!" I turned around and found him before me with open arms. Before I could do anything, I was wrapped in his warm embrace.

"L-Levi, what are you-"

"Eren," he interrupted my words, "I know that it seems like no one can help you but you have to let someone try." His words were desperate and he held me tightly despite my attempts at pushing him away. "You need to realize that, yeah, I may not know you well, but there are people such as Carla and myself, that want you to be happy and healthy. You need to understand that you don't deserve this pain: no matter how much you feel that you fucking do! You need to see that you need someone to be by your side; to be your shoulder to cry on, your confident, your friend,…your savior.” As Levi spoke, I tried to butt in but was shut out by his strong, velvety smooth voice. When I finally stopped fighting him, he brought a hand to the back of my head and let me rest my  forehead on his shoulder. “I’m here to listen to your problems no matter how big or small. I can offer a safe haven; somewhere you can run and escape the pains of life: even if it’s only a few houses away. I will be here for you through thick and thin, happiness and sadness, day and night; all day, every day. I’m here to help you even if no one else will.” His words brought out shaky breaths and teary eyes. I felt weak and childish showing this man that I was so broken but he… His words… How can a stranger show me, a worthless waste of space, such love and care? How could such a gruff looking midget be so kind to me? How could he even bear to have me here, in his arms, with my head resting on a surprisingly broad shoulder? Why did my hands clutching the back of his shirt and his arms embracing me endearingly feel so… So good… So natural? So...right? How was any of this making sense?

Levi sat me down and we continued to talk for a bit, going over a few things such as being able to come here anytime, to stay here whenever I needed, and a few baseline rules. He did have a few different terms though, one being that I couldn’t come here just to be a little shit ( well, there go my plans). After time passed and we got to know each other better, he decided to cook something for us to eat. “You okay with pizza, brat?” His voice was smooth as silk gets scratchy with an angered tone. If he relaxed and let loose, I feel that his voice would be one of the most peaceful and calming sounds in this cruel world.

Without directly speaking, I just nodded my head, Levi accepting minute responses. The man left me on the black leather sofa and complete and utter silence. Having sat around the park all night, I found my eyelids heavy. Without any fight left in me, my body changed into a relaxed state, my eyes willing themselves shut. Soon enough, my breathing had evened out in my world had become a drifting darkness.

“…-ren?” A voice far off in the distance. “Eren?”

‘ It’s calling for me… Why would anyone speak my blasphemous name?’

“Eren?”

‘ Why? Why are you calling for me?’

“Eren,It’s time for you to wake up.”

‘ But… What if I don’t want to wake up? What if I like it better here: aimlessly floating through an imaginative space created for myself, by myself?’

“Eren…” A cool hand upon my cheek startled me awake. “The pizzas ready, brat.” Levi’s eyes grew wide as I slapped his hand away without a second thought. My repulsion caused him to take a worried step back.”I apologize if I scared you but it was your damn fault for falling asleep when the food was going to be done in only a few minutes. That and you would wake the fuck up so I had to do something,” he spoke naturally, his eyes staring directly into mine. I quickly averted my till gems from his silver shards with a soft apology. “Well, just get off your ass whenever you’re ready,” he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. He then headed into the spotless kitchen; I followed just behind.

“Thanks,” I mumbled just beneath my breath. He immediately looked to me with the peculiar facial expression that I could clearly see was a soft smile. It surprised me a bit to see him look ‘happy’ however I couldn’t keep myself from once again averting my eyes.

“Help yourself, brat.”

“Th-thanks,” I replied again, taking the black and white bamboo designed plate from him. I quickly chose a piece before moving to the large dining room; sparsely filled with a modern, square table and a few elegant chairs. There were beautiful dark sconces placed upon the wall. When you look just passed the table, you find another doorway. I curiously peered around the open black threshold to find a dimly-lit, expensive ‘adult’ lounge. The walls were painted a dark mahogany with a very luscious, dark wood bar.

“Like it?” His voice startled me and I jumped, almost dropping my plate on the floor.

“Y-yeah,” I squeaked, turning back towards the room, eyeing all of the lit-up alcohol on display behind the bar. “I don’t like the purpose of the room though,” I spoke beneath my breath. Levi must have caught that I was speaking, questioning what I had previously mumbled. I just simply replied with a ‘nevermind’ and he thankfully left it at that.

We both ate in general silence, only speaking when Levi asked a question and I felt like answering. Once we were both finished, we remained at the table, Levi bringing up a topic that always made me shiver in disgust.

“How has the school change been, brat?” It may be a Sunday today but anyone was smart enough to know that I was a student who should have been attending Sina for the last few days.

“I...I haven’t started yet,” I spoke truthfully however his usual expression didn’t change.

“You realize that it’s already fucking October, right?” I was surprised by his brusque usage of the English language. Despite my displeasure with his dirty, vile mouth, I listened to his true question however found that I didn’t get what he truly meant by the statement. I mean...Of course I knew what month it was, why wouldn’t I? “You’ve already missed a good month of school just because of moving, haven’t you?” My raised eyebrow fell back to it’s normal position as I let out a small ‘oh’.

“I attended school before we decided to move here but my mother decided to let me get settled into the new house before throwing the stress of school on top of the move.”

“I guess that makes more sense than waiting to enroll until after the move,” he spoke, looking directly at me. His gaze made me feel slightly uncomfortable however he must have sensed my uneasiness, now looking about.

“Y-yeah, well...I loved the break,” I admitted. “School has never been a very enjoyable place to be; kids have always discluded me. As the years have gone by though, things have gotten worse; much worse. Elementary school was mainly just verbal teasing and exclusion. Middle school and high school however were filled with nothing but physical, mental, and verbal abuse. Nowadays the kid’s don’t just ignore you. They are constantly there, plaguing every aspect of your life with negativity be it when you’re at school, at home; anywhere and everywhere. Phones and internet happen to be another hindrance; just another way for tormentors to ruin your life.” My true feelings began to leak out; my eyes staring into my lap and my fists clenching the loose fabric of my jeans. “They no longer just ruin your day, no, they have to make you miserable for the rest of your poor existence. I mean, if their snide looks and ‘behind-your-back’ comments aren’t torture enough then the threats and beatings are.”

“Ere-”

“The words of ridicule start to stick and then you end up like me; a person who can only believe the labels that others have given them. ‘You’re ugly’, ‘are you emo’, ‘do you cut’, ‘you’re disgusting’, ‘worthless’, ‘weak’, ‘why don’t you just kill yourself’. They say such vile things but those malicious tags remain with you; like a brand, permanently etched upon your skin; visible every time you look at yourself. Then, when any term has been used repetitively, it begins to appear everywhere and, like a chisel, it breaks away at a part of you. It’s always the worst at night, too. It echoes infinitely in your mind, even as you try to empty your thoughts and rest. But of course, the faces of your mental blight appear and before you know it, you’re being haunted by your own inner demons. Then, you break down and use the one and only friend you have to calm the raging storm of self-hate and horrid memories of discrimination. Then, you don't just suffer once: it's an endless cycle of pain. And now, tomorrow, I will be starting up at Sina high -a place where I will never fit in-. A-and then everything is just going to get worse again and then...I..." weak tears began to fall another time. I quickly wiped the second wave away, sniffling madly. Levi let out a sympathetic exhale, getting up and moving towards me. He pulled my head against his chest -despite my flinch- and caressed my hair. It was a very nostalgic feeling: my mother always holding me close and running a hand over my messy locks. The two of us sat like that for quite some time, Levi whispering encouraging  words.

"I know how much school fucking sucks; trust me. I've been there and suffered through it and I know it's not easy! I personally had more fucking downfalls than most shits would guess. I know that school is a living hell but I also know that you're almost fucking done! Eren, I hope you can see just how close you are to having a diploma in your hands. Try to stay strong for me. Graduate and tell me how it feels to hold that certificate in your hand. I truly want to understand how you felt completing high school because...I never got to know that feeling.” My eyes went wide, tears cascading down my cheek. He told me something so personal and the emotions flooded me. I found it so difficult to believe that he, the man standing before me, had been a drop out.

“Y-you…” he held a very penitent look as I almost dared to question why.

“My past is something that I am gravely ashamed of and I hope to stop you from someday feeling the same,” he gave me an earnest look as he spoke. “Please try to make it at school; it’s very important.”

“I-i’ll try but…” I mumbled, “I can’t make any promises.”

“I understand however if you ever need me, just call me. I don’t care if I’m at work, sleeping, or taking a shit; just call me and ask for help if you need it.” He patted my shoulder amiably.

“I-i don’t have a cell phone…” I murmured, his piercing, silver eyes widening immediately.

“Are you shitting me?” His already grumpy look increased as his brows furrowed.

“No, my last one was broken by some kids from school and...my father won’t replace it.” I had previously begged and pleaded for a new phone; even a flip would have sufficed! My mother agreed to take me however my father wasn’t very keen on the idea of ‘wasting’ money on his ‘worthless’, ‘waste-of-space’ son. After quite the battle, I just decided to live without any connection to the outside world.

“Seriously? Most fucking eight-year olds have a phone in today’s society and you’re telling me that you don’t have even a god damn, prehistoric flip?”

“I use to have one!” I added once again, putting emphasis on the fact that I don’t have one anymore.

“YEah, yeah, yeah but that doesn’t solve this shitty ass mess…” he sighed, his eyes roaming about while he tried to think of something. “ Still take my number, I’ll write it out for you. If you ever need me to pick you up from school or something, you’ll have it. For now, this will do but I’ll have to think of something but...until then, I need you to stay strong. Oh, before I forget, feel free free to stop by whenever you need to; I’m not always home but when I am, I can help.” He went to get a small paper, writing his cellphone digits with amazing elegance. “Here’s my cell and work numbers.” I gave a nod, pocketing the item that I may actually keep; just maybe…

“Alright then, lets get you home.”

Levi and I walked down the street in silence, my mind going over our previous conversation. I stared at his long black sleeves as he walked  in front of me. ‘He...he seems stable; a large house, an antique car...how could he have ever been like me?’

“Brat?” My eyes moved to his face. “You’re home.” I looked over, the pastel yellow house sitting beautifully before me. He moved before me, walking up the steps. I hesitated a moment, checking the driveway for my father’s car. Seeing the vehicle, I backed away from the door, Levi giving me a confused brow raise.

“You knock…” I shied away, stepping behind him on the white porch.

“Okay then,” he stepped up, landing a few hard knocks on the white door.

The door opened quickly. “Eren?” Carla looked out, spotting me instantly. “Oh Eren, thank god you came back! We were really starting to get worried!” She ran forward, wrapping her frail, maidenly arms around me. I slowly and weakly returned the embrace, knowing full well that only she had missed me.

She released me from the hug, finding Levi on her porch beside me. “L...Levi, correct?” The raven nodded in response. “It’s a pleasure to see you again.” She gave a respectful bow of her head. “M-may I help you with something today?”

“No,” he declined kindly, “Just bringing the child back home.”

“Eren! Were you bothering the neighbors?” She gave me a stern look.

“No, don’t worry Carla. I stepped in on my own accord.” He spoke with a respectful manner that wasn’t very familiar to me seeing as he would usually fit a few swear words into every other sentence.

“You are such a gentleman, Levi. Thank you.” Mother gave one of her signature smiles before turning back towards me. “Eren, we should head inside; we have a lot to talk about before you’re off to Sina High tomorrow.” I just replied with a silent nod. “Good,” she turned back to the raven, “we’re going to head inside for now but I hope you have a wonderful day, Mr. Levi.”

“You too.” He nodded his head before looking back at me. “Eren, remember what I said.” I once again nodded quietly before my mother dragged me inside.

My mother and I sat at the elegant dining room table collaborating about my first day back in the school system. Not once did I bring up how I felt about going to school or how I was afraid of being thrown into the cesspool of brainiacs and athletes with my unfitting skills. She had previously known that I wasn’t popular and that I would sometimes come home with a few cuts and bruises however she never truly questioned it; most likely thinking that I was young and stupid and got into a fight. Despite the fact that her thoughts were wrong, I never brought it up; my mother already having to deal with enough shit without having to add the fact that her son was being beaten up.

Her motherly nature caught my unease. “I promise everything will go fine tomorrow, okay?” She gave a reassuring smile however it did little to calm my thoughts.

“Thanks,” I returned a weak grin. As I did so, shame built up within my chest. ‘How, even when looking deep within my loving mother’s eyes, can I not pull off a real smile? Since when have I been this far gone?’

“Before I begin dinner, can we have a chat about your disappearance yesterday?” Without even letting me answer, she began. We went through a bit before she decided to go cook supper.

Soon enough and I was alone in my room, staring up at the beige ceiling. Mother was fast asleep in her room and Grisha was passed out on the recliner; the silence killing me on the inside. I lay upon my bed, sighing heavily as my mind wandered down dark paths.

“Eren!” The alarm beeps off incessantly. “Darling, it’s time to wake up!” Mother’s voice pounds loudly in my head. “Eren!” My tired eyes open wide at the audacious beep and matching calls. I gave my clock an annoyed smack, the alarm cutting off sharply.

“E-eren?”

“Yeah mom, I’m up,” I yawned, stretching a bit before getting up and throwing my sweatshirt on. Once my cuts and scars were covered, I unlocked my door.

“Eren, you know I don’t like you locking your door. What if something were to happen?”

“Mom, something almost always happens and locking my doors has always stopped ‘him’ from getting to me,” I added, taking the school’s uniform out of her hands and heading for the shower.

I stripped my clothes once I was in the Earth-toned bathroom, gripping the sink tightly while staring into my reflection. My hair has grown long, messily covering my face and shielding a great portion of my eyes. Looking over my eyes,  I noted the bags forming beneath them, reminding myself of the way that Levi’s eyes were sunken in a similar, sleep-deprived way. Truly unhappy with that I was viewing, I moved toward the shower; throwing the water on at a burning temperature that I knew would scorch my naturally tan flesh.

I sat in the scalding warmth until my mother yelled at me for lack of time. Her calls brought me to shampoo my hair and end my peaceful escape. I got out, dried off, and ruffled a towel over my head. I tried to tame my unruly hair but left it after it decided to truly defy gravity. Once dressed, I headed out, feeling quite uncomfortable.

“Oh sweetie, you look so handsome!” My mother came up to me, laying a kiss upon my cheek.

“I-i...don’t really like it,” I murmured.

“It’s not your usual style however I think it’s a good change,” She smiled. “Go grab your backpack and a jacket so we can get going before you're late!” I nodded, heading into my room, taking off the dark blue suit jacket. I grabbed my simple green sweatshirt, wearing it over the formal apparel. Once fully clothed and now more comfortable, we left the house.

“Do you have everything you need?” She spoke as she pulled up to a red light.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Got your schedule, your old ID card, some gym clothes, and all the materials?”

“I told you, I’m signing up for online gym!” I squawked, messily looking for my schedule.

“Erin, the school requires 4 years of in-school gym! There was nothing I could do to get you out of it!” She rose her voice, surprisingly. “Some exercise will do you good anyways.”

I was highly displeased with her words. I would never change in front of so many people and push myself to stay fit when being haggled by so many jocks. Now, before even getting to school, I knew shit was going to hit the fan.

“Wonderful day, dear.” She gave me a loving peck on the cheek before sending me off. I stepped out of the old vehicle, staring at the vast land and insanely beautiful Gothic-styled school. My mother pulled away, leaving me for the intimidating building. For a minute, I stood instantly watch the people into the historic building. The beauty of it all was overwhelming and I immediately knew that I wasn’t going to fit in.

“Move it,” and I bumped into me as I stood in awe. Being the person I was, I turned towards him, opening her mouth, ready to unleash some creative language that would surely get me into trouble. Seeing red jersey and a bag full of what must be his football gear, I backed down. He simply scoffed at me, “That’s right,” as I gave him his space.

“Excuse us,” a sweet voice, ears and I looked past the two-tone undercut, Fighting a smile and a cute, freckled face. After that the left, going towards the building. I gave a heavy sigh, the feeling of unease only getting worse now. With my hands gripping my backpack straps tightly, I walked in after the other two.

Inside, I held in the want to slacken my jaw and all. The hallways were wide, when he was tall the lockers and trophy displays. I was astounded to see so many people despite the school’s vast size. If my social anxiety wasn’t bad enough in a public school full of average day teens, that it was through the roof now with the large sum of rich beauties, tough jocks, smart nerds, and everyone else in between.

Walking down the hall, I began to collapse in on myself. I looked down, shoulders pulled in tight naturally, my mind shutting down. My heart began to speed up, my breath hitching out of anxiety as I felt people watching me: the rise like stabbing knives. An unsettling not formed within my stomach, my head filling with sharp pain. I was absolutely uncomfortable, like a sore thumb those catching everyone’s attention. The sounds of girls giggling, here, a culture running through my body. Just their simple laughter triggered even more anxiety deep within my echoing thoughts.

‘Were they laughing at me? Do I look weird? Is my hair? My jacket? Or is it… Just me? Do you see that I’m ugly? The fact is worthless? Do you see who I really am?’ As my thoughts continue to flare, I dipped into the nearby men’s room, rounding the corner before placing my backpack against the wall and sliding down onto my rear. I pulled my knees to my chest, my breath heaving as I tried to relax my racing thoughts and worries.

“H-hey, are you okay?” I jumped at hand had been gently placed upon my messy locks. I stared: sky blue and teal now locked. After a decent gone just a little too long to be comfortable, we both looked away. “S-so,” the blonde weekly stuttered, “a-are you alright?” I said we shook my head in reply, my breathing still heavier than normal.

“Is there anything I can do to um…Help?” The blonde questioned, tucking some of his medium-length hair behind his ear.

“C-can you take me to the office?” I mumbled quietly. He raised an eyebrow. “Office?” I repeated a little louder.

“Oh! Are you new here?” His smile was overwhelming but cute. I nodded to answer him. “Alright, I can take you to the office then.” Houston the hand held me up. I started offered appendage for a moment before hesitantly taking it. He held me up and give my hand a shake, “by the way!”

“Eren,” I added quietly, letting him leave me out the door.

“So, the greater you and Eren?” He questioned as we walked on the still crowded hallways.

“I’m a j-junior,” but words began to show my true feelings. Being in this pack school made my stomach churn and my whole body tremble with dreaded anxiety.

“Oh, you’re an 11th grade student just like me!” He gave a cheerful giggle while pushing his glasses up. “Well, I hope we at least a few classes together! And quote

“Y-yeah.” He seemed like a kind guy: a little too chipper for me but I’m sure I could use the extra nerdy happiness in my life.

“Well, here we are! I’ll take you in and you situated before I go.”

“Th-thanks but… Will you be late?” Armin seemed smart and I figured he wouldn’t want to miss whichever class he had first.

“It’s no problem for me. I went to a guide for students and families so it’s pretty much my job to help noobs like you out!”

“O-okay then,” I spoke, slightly confused by his usage of the term ‘noob’. I wasn’t a very social kid so I figured the new word to be some modern-day lingo that I hadn’t quite picked up on yet.

With that, we entered the office and he spoke to the front desk lady for me. She checked my old ID card before grabbing my new Sina High badge. The lady then went over my schedule with me, clarifying on the nearby school map where my locker was generally located. Once done with that, she wrote Armin an electronic pass that would be sent to his teachers before Warning us of the oncoming Bell.

As we exited the office, I handed my schedule over to Armin. Armin looked over my classes for a moment, the five-minute warning bell echoing through the school’s emptying hallways.

“Sadly, it seems like fate has worked against us. Dang it; I even presumed that you were someone with somewhat similar intellectual abilities.”

“What made you think that?”

“Well, most students that attend Sina come for the athletics program or for the vast number of offered academic courses. Finding you in the bathroom like that, I figured you were one of the brainiacs that felt intimidated by the number of attendees and athletes. It’s not surprising to find a new academics student overwhelmed by the crowds or hiding from the gymnasts,” he giggled. “I must admit though, our athletes are all generally nice to us geeks. Our school has policies and even mixed free times for us to get to know each other and work together. Truthfully, we have a lot of respect for each other; the athletes stick up for us and we help them if they need any academic assistance. It’s a decent civil union; we’re always there for one another no matter how strong or smart.” I was surprised by the news, hoping that I would find the same peace within the confines of this historic building.

“Alright, your locker is right here,” he pointed out the tall, blue storage unit. “I suggest trying to open it at least once and then I’ll take you to your first class.” I nodded, approaching my locker with a shaky breath. Armin watched carefully as I turned the dial. I tried my hands at the comb a good four times before the blond finally decided to help. With little effort, he cracked it open, closing it and asking me to try yet again. I failed for the fifth time, kicking the locker in frustration and giving up.

“I’m not going to use it anyways so can I just go to class?” I was fed up with trying to open the damn thing and I could tell that my anger was starting to boil deep within my veins.

“Yeah,” he spoke, checking his wrist watch. “Follow me,” he chimed before beginning to walk. The halls were practically empty by now; the occasional lost person or late student being the only few remaining. “Here we are!” he walked in, my body halting just outside the door. To put it simply, I was super frickin’ nervous; my legs shaking at the idea of walking into my Algebra 2 class knowing that everyone’s eyes would be on me.

“Eren?” Armin questioned as he looked back at me. I simply shook my head, nails digging into my palms. He gave a sigh before coming back into the hallway. “It’ll be fine! Mrs. Duniken is great!” He gave me a grin before patting me hard on the back. The outwardly rough contact made me jump, fearful eyes stuck on the blond. “Go on!” He gave me a head gesture before having to practically drag me into the full classroom.

“Good morning, Armin!” The woman gave us a pleasant smile. the forming wrinkles growing more obvious. “Are you helping out the new student?”

“Yep! Just bringing him to his first class.” The two continued talking, my eyes going over the many desks with jersey-sporting teens. Many eyes were meeting mine, a heavy knot tightening in my gut. I heard a scoff; my head dropping, letting my bangs fall further into my face. Groups were whispering, my mind immediately taking it as everyone dissing me with hushed tones. My nails dug further into the palms of my hand; the sharp warmth of pain filling parts of my clenched fist.

“Hello,” I jumped away as the hand moved towards me. “It’s a pleasure to have you in my class.” I looked up, meeting her eyes for a moment before looking away and rushing a weak handshake.

“Okay, my job here is done!” Armin gave a wide grin.

“Did you already receive a pass?” The math teacher questioned. Armin nodded, explaining that an office woman had already sent an electronic pass. “Okay then, you better hurry; you’ve already missed a few minutes of class!”

“Alright, thanks Mrs. Duniken! Bye everyone!”

“Now then, I need everyone to take their seats and to quiet down.” With her words, the room settled in mere seconds. She looked over the class before giving me a seat and starting the lesson.

As she spouted what seemed to be a different language, I took the time to look over the room. To my right was a brunette eating chips. In front of her was a decently small guy with  a buzz cut, complaining that the ‘potato-chip-girls’s’ eating habits will affect her track scores. Then to my left happened to be a beautiful, petite blonde, her dance-team jersey looking almost a size too large. In front of the goddess-like cutie was a brunette with freckles; her basketball gear fitting her natural look perfectly. Behind me were three people; a freakishly tall basketball player, a completely buffed out blonde, and a stone-faced gal. Near the front of the room was the football playing horse-guy that had previously bumped into me.

I spent the rest of the hour looking over the other people and trying to match them with a sport. I found almost everyone in the class was wearing something recreationally related. Myself and one other person were left adorning the normal student school uniform.

With that, the bell rang. I exited the room, heading directly to the fourth floor. I quickly got things set with my next teacher and then sat down, my chin resting upon my hand wearily. Within a matter of seconds, I was confronted by a few others, my social anxiety spiking, leaving my insides feeling like a jumbled mess.

“Eren, right?” The beefed up blonde from my previous class spoke, a large hand being placed upon the far corner of my desk. I hesitantly looked over their stone-cold faces. “Welcome to Sina High,” he scoffed, clearly pointing fun at me with his overly sarcastic tone of voice. “I’m Reiner, this is Bertholdt, and that’s Annie.”

“Sport?” Annie assumed I was a health junkie like all the rest in my classes.

“I-i don’t play,” I murmured, a wave of cold running through my body as they seemed to look down upon me now that they knew the truth.

“I thought you were about our age but you must be younger to be taking this class as an advanced course,” Bertholdt commented.

“Or….maybe the dude’s a normal!” Reiner added, their faces cringing at the title. I was slightly confused by all of their awkward displays. I felt like a ‘normal’ person, nothing special about me; no amazing talents or abilities to share with the world.

“So, are you a normal, Eren?” Annie asked, stoic face looking judgemental as her eyes bore into me.

“What’s...what’s a ‘normal’?” I questioned with a raised brow. The three just snickered at me as they walked over to their desks.

My next few hours were quite...lonesome. No one spoke to me, only giving me peculiar looks; my anxiety pushing horrible thoughts into my head with each and every glance I received. Lunch so far was the absolute worst. I was kicked off a few tables; people having specific spots in which they sat everyday with their teams. Walking out of the cafeteria, I found a quiet bench outside, overlooking the many sport fields. I drank my water in complete silence, watching some guys play soccer out in the far pitch. The time seemed to move along slowly, my loneliness only bringing more depression. I didn’t have a lot of friends at my previous school but I had never been kicked off 2 tables or ended up sitting outside alone. ‘I guess I’m just destined to be alone be it home or school,’ I sighed loudly. I sat, staring at the sky for the rest of my lunch, only moving my attention when the bell echoed over the large expanse of the school.

I sulked inside, my backpack laying lazily over my sore shoulders. Heading over to the large gym, I was given quite the bump in the hallway. My severely bruised shoulder stung as I peered over; trying to see if I could tell who it was and if it was intentional or not. Sadly, I was new here and had no way of telling who it was or what their motive may have been. With a heavy sigh, I readjusted the strap of my bag and headed into the spacious locker room. Half of the room was filled with lockers; a portion of the cubbies being larger than the others. I found that the second half of the room was partially covered, a wall separating the shower stalls and sport equipment rooms.

My schedule listed my gym locker and its comb. I hesitantly moved to the back wall, reading the tiny etched numbers. I then moved down, heading further right, away from the locker room entrance. Other's piled in, the athletes getting the largest, front lockers, chatting loudly, filling the silence with echoing laughter. Some of the genius's packed into back row; my locker being completely isolated from everyone. The guys changed as I opened my gym locker, putting my belongings -minus the schedule I will need to get this junk back out- inside the safety of the metal contraption. By the time I was done storing my items, everyone was heading out the back doors, into the gym.

Everyone stood in two different lines; the separation of athletes and brainiacs apparent yet again. I found it disgusting that they labeled people like this; smart or dumb, physically built or weak. I fit into neither clique, my abilities being unfound or forgotten with my current life style.

“Jӓger?” The teacher’s voice was strong, her authoritative tone causing me to jump. I hard a few snickers from people, my face filing pink and my clenched fist growing tighter.

“Y-yes, ma’am?” I spoke quietly and stuttered; the last thing I truly wanted to do in front of someone with such an overconfident aura. People prey on the weak and I had clearly just shown about 45 classmates that I spoke weakly like a dog with it’s tail between it’s quivering legs. ‘Good job, Eren!’

“Any sports?” She gave an obvious question and I just shook my head. “Well, you aren’t here for the athletics program and judging by the fact that you forgot your clothes today, you must not be here for the academics either. That leaves me to believe that you are just simply ‘average’ with some parents that have extra cash to throw around. Well, normal, get in line with the big boys and be prepared to join in; gym clothes or not, we still play.” The woman pointed everything out in the open, everyone laughing at my talentless life. I hung my head lower, my eyes on the floor as I shuffled over to the athletes that I knew I would soon come to despise.

My anxiety and depression were through the roof, my stomach threatening to shove my previously eaten foods back up out of pure discomfort. My teacher began instructions, my mind running back over what she had said and finding one true theme behind all of her words. ‘I am worthless...’

I’ve been told that I am just a waste of space before by many; kids at Shiganshina High and my father being the most painful. Being called worthless in any situation hurts. The second you hear that slip from someone’s lips your eyes go wide and your heart just simply shatters; the vile word acting as a hammer and breaking away at your most vital point as if it were made of fragile glass. The feeling of being told that is an extreme rush of overwhelming pain, confusion, and later, self-loathing. It only takes a remarks about how your existence is a complete and utter mistake before you start to believe them. Believing them is wrong and I know that….but it’s not just something you can ignore so easily. Being told that you don’t belong living is just something horrible that no one should ever have to suffer through. I’ve been informed of my unimportance enough to know how it feels; like a nail being driven into my flesh each and every time I hear it. The word worthless constantly flashes through my thoughts and it doesn’t seem like it will ever leave. The cruel tone and harsh terms will stick with me forever; every time I make a mistake, I realize that everyone was right about me. The term worthless tends to affect me most when I’m alone with nothing but my thoughts. Ruminating around in each and every waking thought, causing me to remember just how lonely and unloved I truly am. This is the type of word that will forever be imprinted within; leaving not only mental pain but physical scar as well.

“Jӓger!” I jumped yet again as I was snapped back to reality, earning a few more unwanted snickers. “Pay attention!” I nodded in reply as she finished up the lesson. “Athletes play athletes, academics play academics; same as always. Now head outside to the fields and grab the correct flags.” Like slaves, we were pushed outside, a box of matching belts and streamers being sifted through by the many hands of the students. I chose a green, watching as others plucked out other colors.We then walked to the far off stadium, meeting the teacher at the gates. She informed the teams of their rivals and stations before sending us off to play flag football. My team, the green, was set against the red; a definitely unfair battle once looking over the loaded enemy group. Despite knowing that, we still played. Before even starting though, we chose positions and tasks. My job, as specifically told to me, was to stay out of everyone’s way. The comment stung but the pain was numbed by the petite, blonde’s angelic smile.

“Be nice to the new kid; he has it rough switching to such a powerful school!” Her disciplinary actions made me happy even though the other’s just brushed it off.

With everything now settled, we started the game; everyone moving to take their positions. Surprisingly, Christa, the cute dancer, was quite agile, her small size allowing her to squeeze past people with ease. Despite our team’s efforts, we were losing; the horse-faced guy named Jean was skilled, showing off his years of practice. The ‘potato chips’ girl proved that her gluttonous ways hadn’t harmed her amazing speed, stamina, or long jumps. The energetic ‘buzz-cut’ was officially named ‘Connie’; his abilities as a newbie quarterback, tennis player, volleyball setter, and soccer forward was revealed with his quick reactions and smooth movements. The red team was officially stacked against us; full of strong players and muscle freaks.

No surprise at all, we were down by four touchdowns and the others on my team were enraged by our quick defeat. Now stuck in a compromising situation, Christa threw it to the only person that was left unguarded; me. I managed to catch the football but hesitated too long, the reds already on my heels. With my mind made up, I ran the ball as fast as I possibly could. Luckily for me, I was already near the end zone and could practically taste the victorious touchdown. ‘I...I can do this! I will help my team!’ With but a yard or so left, Jean tackled me brusquely to the ground. I winced at the pain of impact as he got off me; laughing and cheering with the football in his rough hands. As I slowly began to pick myself up, off the expensive turf, he grabbed a chunk of my hair.

“Not this time, ‘normal’,” He whispered directly into my ear. My eyes opened wide, a cold shiver running down my back. This small action triggered something within me; my whole body beginning to feel hot, my head dizzy, and my stomach, extremely nauseous. Jean then threw the ball back to the others, talking about the next play as if he didn’t break the rules. Christa, the angel she is, told them to wait as she caringly checked to make sure that I was physically okay; not knowing that mentally, this small attack had sent me over the edge.

“Eren? Hey, are you okay?” She knelt down, looking me over carefully. I simply shook my head, a hand over my mouth and my body hunched over; ready to empty my stomach’s minimal contents on the field. “I’ll go get the teacher, you wait here,” she ran quickly.

“What’s wrong with the ‘normal’?” Jean snickered.

“You tackled him without warning despite the fact that it’s against the rules! You’re such an ass, Jean!” She spat as she rushed past the others. Her comment made the others turn to Jean, poking fun at him and saying that he’d been verbally bitch slapped. Despite all of that nonsense, Christa returned with the teacher only a moment later.

“Class is almost over; head back in, take your showers, and get dressed.” The teacher passed her name badge to the trustworthy angel, allowing Christa to lead the others back inside the building. With everyone funneling out of the stadium, the teacher tried to help me up, grabbing my upper arm uncomfortably. I winced at the action, pulling away out of fear with a childish whimper. Her eyes went momentarily wide at my reaction. She may or may not have understood my harsh reaction...lets hope not. Luckily, she then gave me my space to slowly move stand up.

It took me a few minutes to settle down however I managed to pick myself up and brush my clothing clean of any debris. The teacher kept a watchful eye on me as we walked in. She didn’t question me about the happenings of the field or about my health. Personally, I don’t know whether or not I actually wanted her to ask; I didn’t want the jerk to get into trouble and later seek revenge but then again, I felt that he deserved to be punished for unjustly tackling me without warning.

At the locker room door, I was left alone, the teacher leaving for her office to write a pass as she had verbalised. Hesitantly, I moved into the locker room, quickly grabbing my belongings, and walking out past the newcomers. With little choice, I stopped by the gym offices, picking up my pass before heading to my next class.

With no enthusiasm to continue on with the day, I sauntered down the hallways and stairwells, exhaling heavily as I neared my 7th hour classroom. I was highly unexcited to have to interrupt class and introduce myself to the teacher; something that would cause all eyes to be on me yet again. I always hated entering class when it would draw any attention to myself. Hell, I simply detested being in class let alone around people; especially strangers. Then there was the fact that the United States school system crams information down your throat at an unimaginable rate; choking you until there is no possibility of you ever breathing again and trust me, nobody liked that! I gave another heavy sigh before knocking softly on the wooden door, cursing myself as I witnessed the handle swiftly turning. A shaky inhale fills the silence as I witness the teacher standing just past the threshold of the filled classroom.

“Well, if it isn’t the new guy!” One of the children called out, a few others chuckling along with comment. My cheeks immediately flushed pink and I hung my head, the teacher ushering me in and pointing me towards my seat. I fell into my desk with a nervous breath, finding myself mentally incapable of lifting my eyes off the patterned browns of the desk’s surface. I remained the rest of the hour with downcast eyes and a nervous twist in my guy.

“Eren…” the teacher approached, “Eren, the bell has already rung.” I peered up at him, apologizing softly as I pulled my backpack onto my shoulder. “Eren, I know that the first day can be extremely tough but just remember that things get easier.” I left with those words echoing in my head. The only reply I could muster the strength to actually say was ‘lies’. Everyday, as usual, will continue to grow worse as it always has.

I got to the second floor library for my last class of the day; study hall. I was surprised to find the tables fully packed with a mixture of the academic and athletic students. Although the crowd was bigger and filled with many types of people, my mind still wasn’t at peace. Having seen most of the usual guys and girls from my classes was difficult enough because I seemed to stick out like a sore thumb but now...now I was being engulfed by a sea of people that were all superior compared to me; smarter, stronger, agile, nimble; you name it, they were better. Of course it’s painful to know that you’re absolutely worthless compared to everyone else in the room but to also feel like all eyes were on you, judging you, and wishing you would just go jump off a bridge.

I clenched my teeth and grit my teeth as a large hand roughly slapped my upper back. “Hey there, normal!” The buff blond gave a wicked grin. “Still feeling queasy?” I shook my head in response, already guessing that these three would be some of my new nightmares. “Well, well, well….good to know that the normal knows how to take a hit even if it was a weak one.” My eyes shot up to Reiner’s face while the taller gave him an elbow to the ribs and the girl scoffed at his comment. At first, I was frightened by his words but found Bertholdt and Annie’s actions as a warning sign. “See you later, normal.” The three walked away chattering, leaving me with a cold shiver running down my back.

‘Did ‘see you later’ mean that they would just simply see me around school or was it a hidden threat?’ I lowered my head, moving to find a seat just as the bell rang. I found a pleasant spot in the back, two other people occupying some of the playful chairs. Bracing myself for minimal impact, I let myself fall onto a well stuffed bean bag wearily. Today had been long and very stressful; my body begging to rest. Knowing that it’d be unsafe to fall asleep here, I went to pull my cellphone out of my pocket and listen to some music but was crushed to remember that I would be left in utter silence thanks to Grisha.

“Any you are?” I jumped out of the chair slightly, looking at the older woman to my right. “I apologize for startling you, young lad.” She gave me a kind smile as I recomposed myself comfortably on the bean bag. “So,” she cleared her throat, “you are?” I looked at the paperwork in her hands and immediately understood that she was trying to take attendance.

“Eren Jӓger,” I spoke louder than usual seeing as she was older and didn’t deserve the extra strain of my social anxiety.

“Oh, are you perhaps related to Dr. Grisha Jӓger?” The name sent a wave of pain rippling through me like a forceful wave. “I know he used to work in Shiganshina; he actually was my husband’s surgeon a few years ago.” She spoke so kindly of my ‘father’. To no surprise, my only reply was a small nod and a secretive dig of nails into the soft flesh of my palm. “He is such a brilliant, loving, young man. You are so very lucky to have such a great father.”

She...how could she say such a thing about that….that man! How could the whole world be fooled by his public display? How could they not see who he really was? I mean, how could anyone say that that abusive drunkard was a ‘great father’ when they weren’t the one living with him. And...and...how could they not see the pain flicker through my eyes at the mere mention of his name?”

“Well, please give him my thanks,” she smiled, moving along to mark other students as present. Having nothing to do, -homework not being something even remotely important to me anymore-, I let her words ruminate through my aching mind.

‘If only they could see who he truly is… the way he doesn’t hesitate to fiercely whip a hand across my mother’s cheek or the way he uses all the force he can muster to deal hard blows to someone that is already paralyzed in agony, writhing on the floor. If only I had the courage to get up and tell someone...no, they wouldn’t believe me even if I did...they would probably laugh and claim that I’m just seeking attention.Showing the bruises would just make people think that I am some problematic child that gets into fights. No one would listen to the socially awkward, filthy boy when his ‘father’ is a man with such a good reputation,” I sighed heavily, knowing that I was and forever would be alone in this mess.

The repetitive chime of the school bell echoed loudly throughout the library, the vast number of students filing out of the 4 doorways. I waited a moment before standing up and heading out into the emptying halls. I quickly checked the time before heading towards the exit.

“Eren!” I turned around, worried, but found the freckled boy waving for my attention. The boy jogged up to me, slightly out of breath. He adjusted his glasses before speaking once again. “Eren, I’m so sorry!” He politely bowed his head. “Jean was such a jerk, tackling you out of the blue when he knows that it’s supposed to be a friendly game of football!” He was way out of line and I apologize for his behavior. You aren’t hurt though, are you?” This guy….was an absolute angel! Despite his kindness, I felt that he was wasting his breath; apologizing for the one that was truly in the wrong.

“I’m fine, thanks,” I mumbled.

“It was no problem at all! I’m just glad that you’re okay!” He smiled brightly. “If he ever gets out of hand again, just let me know and I’ll have a talk with him.” I felt momentarily reassured by his words; knowing that someone was here to keep this kid in line. My calm soon passed, the realization of me ending up as a ‘tattle-tale’ not being a fond idea. “Well, have a great day then!” He ran off with a wave.

With a nod goodbye, I walked out the double doors and into the refreshing autumn air. With no further need to remain at school, I began to head home, trying to remember the route back to the new house. As my feet carried me forward, down an unfamiliar path, my fingers gripped the straps of my backpack; the material still hanging loosely over my weak, bruised shoulders. After a short time, my body developed a rhythm, my feet moving to the beat of my own drum. The gentle breeze blew arbitrarily, catching my hair and clothing, pulling at them with the strength of a weak child. I closed my eyes, allowing my jacket to billow freely as I let the wind carry away some of my thoughts and worries. The leaves rattled as I stood in peace, the crunchy debris being strewn across the healthy green grass. Matching the natural sounds were dull thuds, almost as if someone….was nearing. I quickly pried my eyes open, turning towards the shuffling of shoes against pavement. To no avail, my awareness had failed me; a heavy arm falling over my shoulder, causing me to violently flinch away.

“Aww, Eren, are you running away already?” Reiner questioned, pulling me a bit too close, therefore trapping me tightly against his muscular figure.

“Mind if we have a quick chat?” Annie asked, looking slyly malicious as usual.

“W-well, I-” Reiner’s arm moved, uncomfortably squeezing my neck between his upper and lower arm in an almost ‘headlock’-like manner. Personally, just having someone near instilled fear deep within me but this….having someone’s arm wrapped around my neck in what may be a malevolent attack threw me over the edge; the signs of a panic attack starting.

“It’s alright, Eren. None of us are going to hurt you.” My eyes snapped to Reiner as he began to force me forward; the other two closing off any smart escape route that I may try to take. “The three of us just wanted to be friendly and warn you of your ‘welcome party’ that will take place tomorrow.”

“P-party? O-of what sort?” My whole body was burning up, my hands starting to tremble, my breathing ragged, and my thoughts growing horribly fuzzy.

“Yep, a party! It’s like an initiation for Sina High’s newest ‘normal’! I mean, you must receive an official welcome from your new friends, right?” His words only helped to further the progression of my difficulties; my body now stumbling about like a baby fawn on this legs. “Since we’re throwing you a party, you won’t skip school tomorrow, will you?” He added with threatening sarcasm.

“If you do decide to ditch, everyone will just wait until you return from hiding like some worthless coward.” Once again that word has haunted me. To no surprise, it caused me to grimace; knowing all too well how my father has embedded ‘worthless’ deep within the marrows of my bones.

“Oh, and before we go,” Reiner leaned closer to my ear, “we just wanted to wish you good luck for tomorrow; wouldn’t want you to be one of the unlucky bastards that end up in the hospital after initiation.” My breath hitched. The blond simply harumphed and released me, allowing me to crumble to my hands and knees. The three then walked away, leaving me with a snide comment, “Eren, don’t forget to breathe...if you even can.”

Sadly, it took me time to calm down and regain my ability to properly inhale oxygen. When I finally managed to do so, I got up and stumbled to my one safe place; the park. Upon arrival, I surveyed the area, finding no one but myself and little critters around. I took my spot on the old, worn out swing, fingers tightly gripping the rusted chains as worry consumed me.

Of course home and school had almost always been a battleground; my father and the bullies being relentless. To my dismay, Sina was proving to be even harsher than the last. To top it all off, my father was clearly showing his unhealthy dependence on alcohol; seemingly drinking more as of late. With so many enemies, my body won’t be able to function from all of the abuse. Hell, even my own personal punishment was beginning to cause problems! Why did everything always have to work out horribly for me?

To some advantage, I at least had this park to run to in times of need. Sadly, this location could only last for so long; the weather only growing worse with each passing day. I would soon have to find some other place to take refuge.

After quite some time, my eyes caught a flash; the park’s hanging lights flickering on, signaling just how late it was getting. With dread weighing me down, I gave a heavy sigh and pulled myself off the swing. To calm myself before the storm, I took a single walk around the entire park, my fingers ghosting over the chords connecting each little L.E.D. I released the green wires, heading down the secluded sidewalk. Oddly enough, the darkness didn’t affect my anxiety; probably even relaxing me more than even the light did. To also help, I decided to hum to myself softly; music always being a way to escape from the harsh pain of reality. Of course any type of singing wasn’t my first choice but with my cellphone and downloaded music destroyed, humming was all I had left.

Finally, after jamming to my own acapella beat of Breaking Benjamin and Three Days Grace, I made it to my block; Rose Boulevard. There, I stopped vocalizing songs, instead allowing the worry to overtake my mind once again. ‘Will he be mad at me for making mom worry? No, what if he blames her for my disappearance again? What if...what if she’s seriously hurt or...worse…’ These cumbersome thoughts drove me to move faster.

Halfway down the street, my light job slowed to a stop; the small, falling embers catching my eyes. “Just heading home now, brat?” His voice startled me, causing me to jump. “You realize how dangerous it is to walk around when it’s this dark, right?” Levi commented again.

“Y-yeah, I know,” I mumbled as usual.

“Uh-huh, sure you do,” he replied back with utter sarcasm, “that’s why you’re out here. Well, I’ll just have to walk your ass back home to protect you from whatever shitty predator may be lurk in the darkness.”

“Th-thanks but...I’ll be fine on my own, I answered honestly. Personally, I was worried that Levi would walk with me and end up finding out that ‘predators’ don’t always lie in wait for their prey in the dark. I know that it’s weird that I feel the need to hide my family problems from everyone but I always had what I believed were good reasons to continue keeping the information to myself. One reason was because I always feared that a someone would come and speak with mom and Grisha about it, leaving afterwards to have Grisha take his anger out on mom and I. It’s stupid to think that way and to hide the pain from the world but it’s what I personally felt was right.

“Too late, I’ve already decided to walk your little ass back to mommy,” he commented while standing up from his spot on the porch steps.

“N-no, it’s really okay! I promise!” I waved my hands out frantically to stop him.

“It’s not that far, right? I’ll just give you some damn good company.”

“No, no, it’s fine! You can just finish your cigarette here, I’ll be fine!” I pushed however it didn’t work, Levi moving down the sidewalk without heeding my words.

“Hurry up, brat,” he teased, taking another drag from his white and orange cigarette. With a sigh, I reluctantly followed. “How was school?” He asked, my shoulders tightening.

“Well…”I wanted to complain but felt that it would’ve been a waste of breath, “...nobody died so I would say that things turned out fine.” I left it off with an awkward laugh and nails scratching the back of my neck in discomfort.

“Well, lets hope no one keels over at Sina, it would ruin their fucking high and mighty reputation,” he teased once again.

“Y-yeah,” I simply agreed, the conversation falling there and leaving us to walk in general silence the rest of the way to my  house.

“Well, at least your home safe now,” he smiled, stomping out his cigarette on the walkway. “Have a great night.” I nodded in response before knocking on the door softly. Levi didn’t wait up, walking back down the street with his thumbs in the pockets of his dark jeans. By the time mother opened the door,  the ravenet was already halfway home.

“Eren,” Carla gave a sigh of relief, “we all know it doesn’t take 6 and a half hours to walk a measly four miles.”

“I know. I’m sorry,” my voice was weak but she just gave me a reassuring smile.

“Oh well, at least you came back,” she giggled, allowing me inside the house.

“Where is Grisha?” I lowered my voice even more than usual but, even if she didn’t hear my question, she knew what I was asking.

“He’s asleep upstairs. He got home and crashed so I’m guessing that he’s had a pretty busy day. Probably a few emergency cases or state fly-ins.” I nodded with momentary glee before placing my backpack on the floor. “Lets hope that tonight continues to go smoothly.”

“Agreed,” I added with a small grin.

“How was school today?” I tried to also head straight to bed but to no avail; she questioned the happenings of my day before I got the chance to even leave the room.

“Fine,” I rushed my answer, using a strong, abrupt tone than she wasn’t quite used to. “I-it was fine but….I’m exhausted so….I’m just going to head off to sleep.” I moved past her, heading towards the stairs.

“Eren, aren’t you hungry?” She followed after.

“No, I’m fine. I saved my lunch money and used it for supper at a small restaurant near the school,” I lied through my teeth, my mother giving me a worried look but letting me go without further questioning. Once upstairs and safely in my locked room, I gave a heavy sigh. Today had really drained me of all my energy; my body falling limply on the queen-sized bed. Before giving myself some mental comfort with my one and only ‘friend’, I let my thoughts fly around. Without realizing it, I fell fast asleep, the day taking a greater toll than I had even estimated.

 

 

(To be continued...)

 


End file.
